These questions should help you think of some great goals for connecting with the people in your life and perhaps adding more quality relationships to your life. Try writing your responses down, which can really help you think through the questions and come up with ideas:
- Who are the most important people to you in your life right now? Make a list of 3 – 5 people.
- Now, think about each relationship. Where would you say it is on a scale from one to ten, with one being really awful and 10 being wonderful.
- Now think about what would it take to raise that number? (If you are so fortunate to have rated some at a 10, how can you raise that to 11?) Brainstorm a bunch of ideas for each relationship. Think about what that person might like. You might even want to ask them. The theme of this month is “dates” which really means quality time, so you might start there. But perhaps you have some other ideas, as well. If you live far away from loved ones, what creative ways could you connect with them from afar? Later, you might also want to check out the Possible Ideas and Resources page, for more inspiration.
- You might also want to do the free 5 Love Languages Assessment (see the resource page for the link). This assessment is great for finding our your primary love language and that of others in your life (from friends to kids to significant others). That might also give you some ideas on what the person would appreciate.
- If you have some relationships that are really low on the scale, that can be hard. It’s not easy when our relationships aren’t going well. You might first consider if this is actually a toxic relationship in which you need to distance yourself for some reason (for example, if there is abuse). A good counsellor should be able to help you discern that if needed. But if you do feel that this relationship should be improved (which is often the case), again, think about what you can do to begin to plant seeds of improvement. I know… the other person probably has tons more that they could do to improve things, but as you know, we can only control our end of things. So what is in your control to make this relationship better?
- Now choose which three relationships or general “relationship goals” you most want to work on this month and the idea that most jumps out at you for each one. Try to choose something that is different from the usual–something that stretches you a bit–but something that is definitely doable for you. Think through (or begin researching ideas for) some of the details, such as where, when and how you’ll do this.
- If you feel you don’t have as many people in your life as you wish you did-– such as a significant other or a good, close friend– what can you do this month to move in that direction? There are some great books I’ve read concerning the former, so have a look at the resource section below. Also, are there any places you could go where people you’d get along with congregate? Maybe there is a club that participates in a hobby you enjoy or a group of people who are in the same life stage as you are. Brainstorm some ways, and then choose one or two to try.
- Great! You are on your way. If your idea involves a date with someone (friend, husband, or kids, for example), decide with them a day that may work and write it in the calendar. Or, if you want to check out a club or other place, right the date on the calendar for when you’d like to visit.
- I’d love it if you write down your goals below in the comments section on the February page. If you’d rather not, you could send me an e-mail to let me know what you are up to, or let some other friends know. I’d love to pray for you. The accountability also really helps when it comes to making progress in our goals. Great work!!